I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
now i know why i became what i already was.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
