Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
