It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
