dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
