It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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