Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
