i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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