I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
