Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize