don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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