she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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