where am i from again
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
