And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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