Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ugly people sure do ruin things
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
