I wish life had little blips of pornography
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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