I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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