Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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