a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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