420 ftw
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
