please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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