i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
