This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
