hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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