My room smells like vodka and shame
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
