shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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