a queef is a wish your heart makes.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
