Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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