Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
