Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
