don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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