i would punch a child for taco bell
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
