so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
