Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
