I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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