you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She is in my trunk
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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