I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
