Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Randomize
