I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
