you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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