STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
