The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
