I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
