Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I want her autograph on my taint
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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