I wish I could punch you in the face.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
