i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
