Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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