Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
try to milk me bitch
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
