i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
