and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
