She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You have to summon your inner elephant
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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