Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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