Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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