She announced her abortion via fbk
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
