He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
