i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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