I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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