The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
