He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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