Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
