and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
