I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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